Fr. Kevin

Most of us will be quick to say, “No!” Oh, we might admit to a bad habit, but we will also point out that we could stop at any time. We’re still in control.

That raises a question. If we are willing to admit the habit is bad, why do we keep doing it? We say we’re in control. If we are, and we know the habit is harmful to us in some way, why not stop?

In my experience – both personal and in conversations with others – this is where we start to minimize the issue. “Yes,” we might say, “I probably buy too many things online, but it’s not that many things and they’re all small things.” Or “Sure, maybe I drink a bit too much, but I never get overly drunk and I only drink after hard days.” Or “Everyone has something they use to get through the days. This is mine.” Or “Looking at those pictures and videos doesn’t hurt anyone. I’m not proud of it, but it’s not that big a deal.”

It is those kinds of thoughts that prevent us from doing anything to improve. We remove any incentive we might have to end our “bad habit.”

This is Safe Haven Sunday. For a fifth year our diocese has set aside this Sunday to address the destruction caused to individuals and families by pornography. We want to be reminded that this is serious sin – a gross misuse of a good gift that God has given to us all. It has victims. People get hurt. Marriages are harmed – sometimes irreparably.

Fortunately, there are things that can be done to rid ourselves of this or other lousy things we do. You’ll find some business-sized cards in the narthex that offer some assistance in dealing with pornography. (If we run out, we’ve printed them later in this bulletin.) If you are dealing with some other “habit” let me encourage you to do a little online searching. Start your search with “Behavior science” and then add an issue. For example, “behavior science overeating habits” led to a nice piece with helpful ideas to prevent overeating at meals.

God does not want us to be a slave to our habits (sin). Today may be the day, with God’s help, to begin to find freedom.

In Christ,

Fr. Kevin

Some background: Lincoln is a high school junior whose basketball team is about to compete for the state championship. Miss Watts is an elderly woman who, 5 years previously, had taught Lincoln’s Faith Formation class.

“We’re not going to focus on winning the state tournament. That’s out of our control,” Lincoln’s coach told the team. “What we can control is how well we play and whether we enjoy ourselves. You’ve seen this all season. We play our best ball when we’re relaxed and enjoying ourselves. That’s all we can do at state.”

Thirty minutes later, Lincoln shared with Miss Watts what his coach had told them. “I understand his point, but it’s hard not to think about winning. The seniors know this is their last chance to bring home a state championship. Is it wrong to pray about this – to pray that we win the championship?”

“I don’t know anything about your coach’s faith,” Miss Watts answered in her thoughtful manner, “but I think he’s taking a biblical approach.”

“How?”

“Oh, in two ways at least. First, he’s clearly trying to get you not to worry about something that’s at least partially out of your control. You remember in the Sermon on the Mount that Jesus tells us not to worry about those things. Worrying isn’t going to make you or your team play better. Jesus said we can’t add even a second to our lives by worrying and you can’t worry your way to a state championship.” Lincoln nodded.

“Second, he’s focused on enjoying the tournament and Jesus would agree with that too. An abundant life surely includes happiness, and your coach seems to know that happiness is available to everyone, not just the winner.”

“Yeah, but won’t we be happiest if we win? If we lose does that mean God doesn’t want us to be as happy as we could be?”

Miss Watts did not answer right away, and Lincoln wondered if he had, for the first time, asked something she could not answer.

“No,” she finally began, “I don’t think the happiest people at the end of the game are the winners. It might be true sometimes, but not always.”

She could see Lincoln’s confusion.

“Think about winning,” she continued. “Of course, you’ll be happy in that moment, but one win – even a big win – won’t bring real happiness simply because it is only a momentary thing. The feeling will fade with time. The happiness Jesus tells us about, blessedness as he puts it, doesn’t depend on circumstances. Do you remember the Beatitudes?”

“Sure,” Lincoln answered.

“Jesus seems to be saying we can be blessed, happy, even when things go badly. ‘Blessed are those who mourn,’ I would think, applies to losing a basketball game, don’t you think?”

Lincoln nodded.

A Question: Would you like to be able to have a conversation like this – one where you easily use your faith and knowledge of the Bible to help work out some issue in your life? You can! Take advantage of opportunities to learn about the Bible and learn about your faith. Want to get started? How about some simple Bible reading? Start with the Gospel of Mark. In it you’ll find stories about Jesus which are easy to follow. Could you read a chapter every few days?

In Christ,

Fr. Kevin